Ch-ch-changes...

I have a confession to make... I hate change. I like the same old thing, all the time, nothing should ever quit working, nothing should ever break, everything should be just what I have grown comfortable with all the time. Do you remember the Walgreens commercials from few years ago? They were centered around a blissful, change free place called "Perfect". *sigh* As much as I know there is no such things as growth without change, I still always feel a little but let down when something happens in life that I'm not prepared for, or haven't had time to mentally digest. I'm an "analyze, deconstruct, weigh, and measure anything new so I completely understand it" kind of person. I picture, in my mind, changes, or new ideas, or something challenging that I have to accomplish as being like being in a room with a mysterious box. I have to thoroughly study the box, postage, tape, construction, etc. Then I carefully open it. Then I carefully study the state of the contents inside. Then I remove whatever happens to be inside. I carefully go through the wrapping, and then I devote my attention to whatever the object might be. By the time I'm finished observing, I will know what it smells like, feels like, what it's made of, how it was made, for what purpose it was made, how much it weighs, how much it may have cost to construct, etc., before I can actually embrace it and use it. Then I have to clean up the mess, slide the box to one corner, turn out the light, leave the room and shut the door before I feel like I can move forward, or be comfortable with new ideas, or circumstances. In other words, I'm obsessive about controlling things and ideas, and circumstances that I let into my life. As you can probably imagine, I'm not really an impulsive person. And this is an incredible burden sometimes! I wish I could just do something spontaneous, without giving things a second thought, but I guess that's not my lot in life!

I really am going somewhere with all this nonsense, so bare with me!

It seems like the theme of the last 2 years in my home has been "The Random Malfunction of Normally Reliable Products and Services". Here is a list of all the things that have malfunctioned since I moved here, 3 years ago.
1. The washer didn't fit the hookups when I moved in. The new part was expensive, more than a hundred dollars, and took about 2 weeks to get fixed.
2. The range plug didn't fit the existing plug in the house.
3. The dryer quit about 2 weeks after I got the washer fixed. Took about another week and a half.
4. The water heater element quit working.
5. The washer quit working.
6. The freezer quit working.
7. the dryer quit working
4. The washer quit working ( these malfunctions all cost around a hundred dollars an occurrence)
5. The drains became extremely slow.
6. The furnace pilot light blew out 4 times, always after 11 pm, and always on very cold, windy nights.
7. The water froze 4 times.
8. The drains got slow again, which led my landlord to discover that I had a septic tank, and that it was full. No one had any idea where it was, so they ended up digging up my pretty lawn, and making giant holes till it was located. This whole process took almost exactly 2 weeks. During which time I had no running water, and spent several nights in hotels.
9. The kitchen plumbing under the sink imploded. My landlord is incompetent, so I had to fix it myself.
10. My sump pump, which my washer drains into, got very slow, and loud, and smelly then quit.
11. My range quit working. Fried plug. Took me almost 2 weeks to get someone to fix it for me.
12. Internet connection didn't work for about 4 months.
13. My power shuts itself off about 2 or three times a week, usually just a few minutes after I set all the clocks in the house.
14. My oven crapped out. I bought a part that cost $130 dollars, which only fixed one of the several problems it had. It's been 2 weeks now since it quit.
15. The washer died.
16. I got a replacement washer to use while the other one was being fixed. It died.
16. Got my old, fixed one back, then the sump pump died. It took my landlord a week to fix it.
17. After working for a total of 3 hours, my sump pump died again.

AHHHH!!!!

I am really trying hard to understand what I am supposed to learn from all this, and I think it may be to teach me to stop being so controlling, and un-flexible. I'm trying REALLY HARD!

I used to get really upset, and I felt like my life was crashing down around me, but now, I've noticed that I don't get quite so upset, I just buckle down, and work around whatever might be currently not working the way it should. Does that mean I'm progressing?! I hope so!

Now on to continue my journey to try to find the bottom of the dirty laundry stack, wish me luck!